Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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