Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
