I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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