you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
