Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
