My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My feet surprised me
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