My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
smell my finger.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
