talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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