we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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