worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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