Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
