i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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