That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize