Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
