There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
