I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
