i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
A bitchslap is in order.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
