So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
