you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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