i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
