Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
