Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
