There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize