living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
