do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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