Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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