I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize