it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
