I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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