I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
