Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There's always time for handjobs
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
