She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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