this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
