the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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