He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
