508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
