he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
