a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
