guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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