the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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