The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
