i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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