dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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