I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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