Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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