Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
More tranny stories later!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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