So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
