god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Operation Purity has been aborted
we're making bets on your personal life
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
