??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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