Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
