I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
