you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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