Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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