I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
