I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
