Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
