Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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