Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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