Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
