Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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