I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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