I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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