Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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