I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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