dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
