sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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