Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
