I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
